Hello Mr. MLC part quatro...

[Runswithscissors]

Thank you.

MMB is not a bad person. I've think I've mentioned what she is doing is a "natural" response, but to lead to the actual "action" is wrong.

It's always a good thing to feel wanted. The affair she is having is giving her that "need". Hence the co-dependency response.

Having a husband treat you as a bootie call, after he has told you how happy he is with his current live-in is disrespectful- hence the lack of respect for herself response.

In reality, the affair did start before she knew her husband had an affair. In reality, she has not been open to this current "man" about her situtation. That is very mis-leading and dishonest. In reality, she is doing exactly what she is upset over the same actions of her husband. I wonder if his live-in knows? Hence safe-sex response.

MMB needs to really take a step back and look at this from the outside in. If a person respects themself, they will not allow their spouse to treat them as a bootie call. If they respect themself, they would not be dishonest to another individual about the situation. I am not judging her as a person, I am only going on her actions.

MMB, are you attending any type of counseling? Have you used the coaching from DBing? If not, why? Do you think any of us are telling you anything different? If you went to a professional tomorrow and laid this out on their plate- do you honestly in your heart think they would say "okay, continue to do what you are doing, it's working?". You don't have to answer that question publically- but really, think about it.

You already missed your husband before you started the affair, so we know the "affair" in and of itself did not give you the "gumption" your marriage was worth saving.

You have too much complication going on in your life and it can't be easy to make decisions. Love triangles only cloud judgements. Every relationship starts of "wonderful". It's new, it's exciting... but it takes committment to keep the relationship going. You have already committed to another individual.

If your marriage can not be saved- than you need to take the correct actions. Then you need to give yourself time to heal. You deserve it, but honestly, most importanly- your childrne deserve it.