The title of your thread caught my eye. While it seems to be commn opinion that snooping does no good , I think sometimes its needed to see what you are dealing with and obtain a dose of reality as hard as that may be.
However its probably better to stop now. Your W's behaviour is clearly inappropriate but intervention by you will probably not do a lot of good and may harm your attempts to reconcile.
As Karen has pointed out this is not about you as much as your W. And A's seem to rarely end on the first attempt.
You cant change your W . You can change you. So work on that what you can control and try not to use energy on that that is out of your control.
