It sounds like you're in a really tuff spot at the moment...
Yes, agreed cheating is bad but things didn't get to this stage on their own - at least that's what has become crystal clear to me in my sitch. Best thing I did in getting over some of the hurt was to accept some /much responsibility for the sitch I am in and my contribution to it.Sure thats hard too, but not as hard as feeling done over and taken for a ride all the time which is how I started. That just feeds the victim in us and keeps nudging any sense of control we might be looking for out of reach.
IMO you're gonna have to decide if you're in this for the long haul - even if the furthest you can look forward at the moment is say the next couple of weeks. ..I reckon this is about the very minimum you can give yourself to see what sort of an impact you can have with a new strategy and in many cases it will not be enough.
I think, get your Rocky gloves on, smear some Bruce Willis warpaint / sweat over your brow and do your best Clint Eastwood sneer and resolve to get the focus on you and your kids, sort out some serious 180s and GAL. You're not going to be able to do anything about your W and OM so forget it and do your very very best to let go of any thoughts you have in that direction.
Then regroup in a couple of weeks to see where you stand. And don't snoop - it'll throw you off course and divert your focus back on to W.
You need to recover some control for yourself, over yourself...this would be just a couple of weeks...its nothing in the big scheme of things...then see how the land lies.
That of course, is all IMO.
Best - GFI
Me: 40ish W: 40ish Together: 20 ish years Married: 10ish Years
