Hey, Char - working full time and having a 5 & 1 year old? Almost impossible for any woman, including the wonder- kind. I haven't worked for about 2 months now. It is SO MUCH less stressful. Still stressful, but much less so. And, Sue is right - even staying home by myself I haven't been able to do everything, and i've been taking the kids to day care/school most week days. It's just hard to have kids. Period, end of story.
But, really, do everything you can to be kind to yourself. Stop with the "shoulds". If you're like me - and I am an early-to-bed-early-to-rise kind of person - you NEED that time after they go to bed to even have a small prayer of keeping your sanity. I wasn't able to do it, b/c I'd take that time for myself, AND I need a lot of sleep, and I just wasn't getting enough no matter how you sliced it. It was a trade-off between getting some alone time for my own sanity and getting enough sleep for my own sanity, and I couldn't do both. So I went insane.
It wasn't a very long trip, heh, heh...
If I could do it over? I'd have just said to SBH, "Look, I can't work full time and stay sane. What else can we do?" Even if it meant declaring bankruptcy, by gosh. Your sanity is not wortht the $$$$!!!!! Well, my insanity cost me my R with SBH. Having a full time income for that DEFNITELY wasn't a good trade!
Just listen to what your heart is telling you - I think lots of moms do find an acceptable "balance" of messy house, time with kids, time with self, time with spouse, and work. I sure wasn't able to. Not as a therapist. Hoepfully it will be better in another job. Hopefully we can live on my working part time. My kids are now 5 1/2 and 3 1/2, so it is also getting a little easier for me.
BUt I'll bet you anything my 3 1/2 will be MUCH MORE capable of independent behavior when he is 5 1/2 compared with D5 1/2 right now! They see the younger one getting help/attention, and need to compete. It's healthy (for the older sibling) but he!! for the parent!
Hang in there, Char! They tell me it's worth it heh, heh!
heh, heh!
