i came home and H is in bed. now, in the past, I've gotten mad when this has happened... but, I'm DB'ing now, right? right! So, anyway, H pokes his head out from the covers. "Please don't yell at me, I'm really sick."
I say, "Oh, do you have strep?" as D has it and prolly passed it on.
No, he says, I've been getting sick all day and I'm really tired and I don't want you getting mad at me and yelling at me or whatever stupid stuff you're gonna do.
I say with a smile, "No, it's okay. I'm sorry you're sick. I gotta go get the kids from the babysitter's. I'm sorry you're sick."
So, I bring the kids in and I have to turn the water on and have to ask if the thingy's fixed. He says yeah, and I say okay. And he says again "don't be mad at me, don't yell at me." I just smile, "hey, no problem, okay?"
So, I leave, and D5 comes out of the room glaring at me saying "Daddy's sick! And don't yell at him!!!"
I get her out in the kitchen and ask, "Did Daddy tell you to tell me that?"
hmmmm... sounds like he's just scared of doing something wrong and how you'll react. He's sick, can't be helped, but maybe he feels like he's let you down by being sick because he knows that makes you angry and by apologizing and asking you not to get mad maybe he's trying to divert a fight? Just my guess.
he was being agressive in telling me not to be mad!!!
oh... pooh
savedwoman, thanks for dropping in, you're right, I know it... he's sick and he's thinking, OH! here she comes again, she's going to be mad that i'm sleeping, she's going to yell at me, dangit I'm SICK!!!
I think that all he had to do was say the first three sentences, "Honey. I'm sick. Please don't yell at me.", and that would have been fine. Oh well.
Good one Floyd I'll have to try that next time... wait, what do I get when I do that again??? I'm forgetting here..
i was mad because he was being aggressive and called my getting mad the last time "stupid" and told my daughter to tell me (which to me, is just putting her in the middle)
forget it
before, i'd come home and oftentimes h'd be sleeping on the couch when I got home and i'd get mad cuz he wasn't doing stuff and I was doing stuff and it wasn't fair. that mom's plight or whatever... oh, and also my concerns about H taking care of himself... standard co-dependency fare...
last time i got mad at H for sleeping, H said he'd do AB and C, instead he fell asleep. he had a headache, he didn't tell me about, he just went to sleep. no big, except that he said he'd do A B and C, and now it was getting late and A B and C hadn't been planned for otherwise and it just left me in a bind
it happens a lot
i guess i just have to realize H needs more sleep than me, gets sick more often than me and feels like he shouldn't have to tell me WHY he's sleeping... I asked H to be communicative, just so that I wouldn't be left in a bind in the future...
So, that's communication, at least. I suppose I should be happy.
He said it once, no prob.
Twice, three, four times, with a reminder from the daughter...
am I deaf?
Listen, this is WHY I WAS mad. I'm not anymore. We worked it out. We both got heard...
Hi..I am like Jethro..I don't get why the big deal..but then I have not really followed your thread.. I will say one thing to you younger "kids"!!!, years ago when I was an at home mom..I did EVERYTHING....then I worked very part itme..I still did everyting..got mad at h and kids, slammed cupboards, was angry all the time..then I went to work full time when kids in high school..I still did/do everything, and you know what it is not worth it...I do things as I can..if the dishes don't get done..oh well..I learned I could not change h to do all the things I would like. I know I am going to get yelled at , but to nag and get angry all the time is not worth it.Now I am not sure if those are issues with you and you h, but thought I would throw it in.
I'll have to try that next time...