Tell him that you simply are not up for talking about your R right now, that you just want to talk about how you can be good parents together and that you need some time to mentally sort through some things.
It's the truth, it's good stuff and it'll throw him for a loop. Tell him he can talk about it all he wants and you'll listen, but you can't join in. And then don't. Be a duck and let it roll off your back like water.
Easier said than done, but that's my advice.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Hi Jen! I didn't see your posts from yesterday until today - don't know how I could have missed all those posts. lol
cw has given you good advice. If you think you can muster up enough self-control, let him talk (you hopefully gain some insight about what he's thinking) and just listen or validate by saying "I'm sorry you feel that way." Nothing more, nada!!! No explanations, no buts. That will be a complete 180 and he'll definitely notice if you keep it up.
Hope your internet connection is repaired soon. We miss you!!!
I agree with Stella. Don't invite yourself along. Wait til he invites you and when he does, don't accept every time. Tell him you've made plans and leave it at that.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Hi guys. D had her swim meet today and did very well. She got silver on the front crawl and 4th place on the back stroke! She's not impressed with the back stroke! LOL! She's very competitive. Thanks for the responses to my question. I'll try and shut up when if gets talking and I'll try and see it as a chance to really listen to him. I don't think I'm doing such a good job with DB because I'm not seeing the results I'm looking for. Maybe I'll stop looking then I'll feel more positive. H and I are looking forward to being friends but at this rate it's just hopes. I also need to cut down on the controlling behavior by remembering I can only control myself and never H. Well anyways I'm still using my mobile. I'll check in on you chicks now. Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Are you looking for baby steps or big signs? Think baby steps.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Thanks! We are very proud of her. She did great for her first meet. ok so I need to see things more in terms me baby steps. There's no way H will return over night and not without me having a PMA. Thanks for being here for me! I promise to come around your posts soooon.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Thanks! We are very proud of her. She did great for her first meet. ok so I need to see things more in terms me baby steps. There's no way H will return over night and not without me having a PMA. Thanks for being here for me! I promise to come around your posts soooon.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Congratulations!!! It's so funny that D wasn't impressed with the 4th place :). You need to take her out to celebrate!
Come back soon,we miss you here ((hugs)).
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
