Trying to be patient

[LL44]

And he basically won't ever answer any personal questions (like how are you doing nothing super personal or R related) for the past few months unless it is about the kids, probably read it in the "Good Divorce" book he is reading! I think it is kind of rude myself, though!!!

Yep, my H went to the seminar. He refuses to answer anything personal. It takes ALL my might to not ask certain questions, but I don't do it. Totally rude, I agree.

Look at your supersonic PMA!!!!!! I am so proud of you. I could maybe give a speech in front of people, but never do what you are doing, performing, dancing, and all around entertaining!!! You are my hero!

[karen43]

Kat, I know what you mean about being in the right frame of mind. And I like the attitude that Michele takes in her books, kind of makes me feel more empowered and in control and calm. I like myself a lot better than I did last year when I was so weak and independent and depressed!!!

Sounds like you and H are doing some good communicating which is great! I emailed H re: some financial stuff that he needed and told him just briefly that I and D14 are sick (we just have colds though) and I took D8 to a fun kid's afternoon they have at our new church w/ all kids her age. I was surprised when he actually emailed back he hopes I feel better! It always surprises me when he is nice to me(b/c it is rare)!

[karen43]

Lwb, so sorry to hear your H is like that, too! I will try to bite my tongue so I don't do any more casual non-related to the kids comments or questions (although you know that is so hard for me)!

Thanks for your nice comments! But if I can sing, dance, and act in a musical--I'm pretty sure anybody could! I do think I will get a "most improved" award at the end. The musical director was saying how shy and quiet I was at the start, and now how much better and loud I am (that is a good thing in theatre though) :). They were surprised to hear it was my first play ever b/c I never even did one in high school! If anyone's interested, it's really fun to be in musicals and I really recommend it!!! Karen

[girlfromipanema]

Hello Karen,

Figured I'd find some sunshine if I came to visit your thread... and I was right. Your PMA is spot on, my dear. =)

Hope your cold gets better soon. When's your next performance?

Have a fantastic evening!

[karen43]

Thanks, girl! I did have a great evening last night, got to spend time with the kids and do a little reading and catch up on laundry, too!

S14 & I still have colds, hopefully will feel better by tomorrow night so I can sing & dance! I have a really boring day planned today. I sold my H's car (with his approval of course) and didn't realize he left it completely trashed (he is a complete slob)! I took 4 or 5 bags of trash out of there yesterday and just a few things weren't basically trash in there! And I would say I am probably half done or less! Yuck! (One of my friends is buying it so I am cleaning it for him and not my H!)

And I want to go grocery shopping today before the next 4 days of play start. We have a "pick up" rehearsal tomorrow they call it to get us back to doing the play, and I've been told it's very lighthearted & everyone will be doing pranks & jokes and just a fun thing. Then we perform in front of audiences Fri, Sat, and Sun. and then I am done! I am ready for a little break, but will probably try out for the next play also b/c this one has been so much fun! Karen

[kat727]

Karen, you are doing so well. I will catch up with your feelings soon.
kat

[karen43]

I was cleaning out H's junky old car--hard work! In the glove compartment I found an instruction book to a new cell phone that H had gotten at some point, which I never saw. He always had the work phone with him when I was around. H hasn't used that car in about 2 years so I think the affair was going on WAY before I found out in December obviously b/c why else a secret cell phone? I don't even know what to think at this point! Karen

[Sugar and Spice]

Karen, its possible that H hid it there thinking that it would be the LAST place you would ever look. My H hid our 1st $460.00 cell phone bill in his underwear drawer...ok, not gonna win a prize for most origional, but thinking isn't really what its all about. Secret cell phone was so you WOULDN'T find out, but it doesn't mean it was going on way before and maybe the work phone is monitored, minutes, texts, whatever. The cell bill is what really did it for me.

Keep doing all of the wonderful things you are doing for yourself and being a good mom for your kids.

Just wanted to stop by and give my .02

[karen43]

Maybe he did put it in there more recently--the booklet looked new. I guess at least he was trying to hide it from me at one point and then I guess when they got serious or whatever is when I found out (about the affair). I am just feeling kind of bummed but more b/c I think I deserve better-a better H or relationship than I've had for a while now!

He just emailed and said he would watch D8 Friday-Sunday during the plays. I emailed back a friendly letter saying D8 loved him and something she wanted to tell him. I should probably try not to bother with that kind of stuff, I guess. Karen

[girlfromipanema]

I am just feeling kind of bummed but more b/c I think I deserve better-a better H or relationship than I've had for a while now!

I AGREE, little miss sunshine.

I emailed back a friendly letter saying D8 loved him and something she wanted to tell him. I should probably try not to bother with that kind of stuff, I guess. Karen

I don't think it's a problem for you to respond to his emails re: your children. They need to remain a priority in his life. You know they would never choose to have mom and dad apart. It's not fair that they can't spontaneously share things with their dad because he's not around. As a child of divorce, I know this from experience. It SUCKS.