oooh, ouch and double ouch... om was not such the "man" now was he? bummer...
you know... well, i don't know we all do stuff to sabotage ourselves especially when we're in that place of self-loathing i can't imagine having all the tools you have PhD and all and finding out you're still human (i'm NOT saying you thought you weren't human, honest... i don't know nothin :P)
but, it's like the one time i got mugged having been in karate classes for well over a year i was shocked and amazed at how much i DIDN'T know karate! oooops
but, that's just it and i think what floyd101's saying too we're human not superhuman
yes, you messed up yes, I messed up we were incomplete and sought something outside to complete us i put the faith of my vows in H to complete me and that was wrong and when he failed...
ooooh....
yeah, i messed up big time
point is, i can sit here wishing things happened differently but i do still have my faith faith that it's all part of the Big Guy's plan and that the change we need had to come this way
anyway, rambling here, but the point of this thread was finding out what "walk-aways" base their "piecing" on. kinda like using the analogy of a puzzle... you know? how you look for the corners and edge pieces before getting started on the meat of the puzzle?
i think, for me... i got so far away from H and had nothing but the current negative situation and a few remote good memories that were more abstract than anything that i had to find the good things i wanted and then make a plan to encourage those things to grow in our marriage.
i think, that as those things grow, it will enable me to find a places in our "landscape" where the ugly things like "needing validation" or "being able to voice my resentments" can exist and be tolerated and not be the threat they are.
so, that's happening, little by little the ugly things pop up about twice a week or so and they're friggin' hard on both of us
