of course you are not the only one to blame. There is NEVER an excuse for an A. That is completely on her. I was just kinda wondering if you knew what lead her there. Some men are here and feel like everything was just fine and then all of the sudden chaos... I was just wondering where you were on that.
It's is definitely possible that she is back in contact with OM. It is addicting. The compliments and praise. I remember thinking, "this man, who hardly knows me can see that I'm a good mom and a good person and my own H who claims to love me can't even bother to notice..." It's hard to get used to feeling appreciated by someone new and then stopping. Some can and some can't. I'm sure if you did snoop and found something, she would just get mad at you for snooping. I think you have the best plan of just trying to detach yourself from that.
I completely understand what you mean about the pictures. I deleted my myspace when i realized my H had a problem with it. I didn't even have pictures of myself on it. I personally don't think that a M woman should need pictures of herself (no matter how innocent) all over the internet. She shouldn't be advertising, but that's basically what it is. "Look at me, see how cute I am, don't u want me..." That's a self esteem issue. She needs that constant reassurance. I'll bet she goes on there and reads and rereads the comments the guys leave sometimes.
For me, i've had low self esteem since i was little. My sisters were always thinner and prettier. They were girlie, i was a tomboy. I didn't get the same kind of attention they did and it killed me. Alot of it was how my dad treated me, i think. Since then, my H has told me I'm pretty. I just don't see it. So for me, it's hard to believe. She needs to talk to someone about it, but I don't know how you'd bring that up to her at this point. It's probably a touchy subject.
My only advice right now, try to become the man she fell in love with originally. She fell in love with you once, there is no reason that can't happen again!
take care
ann
Take care.
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
