Still in love and struggling

[JMC]

The way I see it is if I were having difficulties in my M, I would work on those with my W and go to counseling. Even if I thought deep down it was NOT going to work, I would still put in my best effort with a positive attitude.

I would NOT jump into an R with the hottie at work. I would NOT let another person enter my M by complaining about my W. I WOULD have enough confidence that if my M did not work after several months of trying, there would be other women to date. I would not want to look back and have regrets about not giving 100% to my M.......

I could not agree more, which I guess is why they are in MLC and we are not. About a month before my STBX MLC-WAW dropped the bomb, I actually went so far as to look up what I would have to do to get a D. I was tired of putting up with her obvious annoyance. However, I decided that we needed to work on our M. I mentioned this to her on our 10-yr anni in the lounge of the hotel where we were staying and having a night cap, only to hear her say 'I want a D'! It was a knife cutting through the fog of an otherwise wonderful evening involving delicious wine and food.

My point is that we are not in MLC and can see something is wrong and it needs to be fine tuned. From all my research I believe, like others on this thread, that most people who pursue D eventually regret their decision. Of course M's involving abuse (physical as well as emotional) or addictions have bigger issues that may not be able to be rectified. Sorry for the babble here, but I very much relate to what has been written on this thread.