Where do...I...go from here?

[tpaschal]

Just posted on Cagzmom's thread about her in-law sitch, and I've been meaning to post something on my own thread about my own in-law sitch.

So.....My in-laws are totally disgusted with my H's behavior, and have told him very plainly that OW will never be welcome in their home, and would never be accepted into the family. Now, would that change down the line if he married her and had children with her? I have no idea. I don't think MIL would change her mind, but I'm not sure about FIL.

They stayed out of his sight and out of his way for several months after he moved out, when he was spewing as much or more anger at them (for not supporting him in leaving?) as he was toward me.

MIL and FIL have been a big part of my support system over the past year, and spend a lot of time with me and the kids. (Yes, they are also hyper-critical and controlling, and drive me NUTS on occasion!)

They slowly tried to regain a connection with H, and we did do H and S9's joint b-day at their house, which was okay, and all met there again for Christmas Eve, which was a disaster. It took about 6 weeks to recover from the disaster, and then for a while H was talking to MIL and FIL some and stopping by their house on the weekends when he had the kids.

But that has ended. Right now there is open animosity between my H and MIL. She is not a quiet or patient or tactful woman, even in the best of times. She has done a pretty good job of not being nasty to H too often over the past year, but lately she has reached her limit due to several things that have happened. H has recently lied to them and tried to manipulate them, and they are furious at that and for H's thoughtless behavior toward the kids. When FIL saw H at S9's soccer game last weekend, he said, "My God, son, what has become of you?" MIL told H he was a loser, and asked how dare he treat his kids this way, etc., etc. It was not pretty.

But is this good? I don't know. I can't control the in-laws, but it seems to me that their behavior is just going to push H further away, and closer to the OW and her family. Nothing will bring him back right now, but to push him further away doesn't seem smart either.

MIL wants to go see the C that H and I went to, and FIL might go, too.

I just left C a phone message, so waiting to hear back.

They also want to write H a scathing email regarding some of the things he's done lately (lying to them, ignoring the kids, treating the kids badly) but I think maybe they need to go NC just as much as I do?

Any thoughts on the in-law sitch? As I said, I can't control them, but anyone here have experience or wisdom or advice I could relate to them on how their behavior could help or hurt?