Quote: hey ll, i thought so too... it's pretty HARD being proactive!!!
yes it certainly is!!!
so now what will you do about it???
just let last night interaction go and keep in mind a new way to handle it next time??
make mention of it to mat?? explain what you were doing..that you were taken off gaurd with his questioning and just punted with your complaints about him??
I know that when I make a foolish stink about something h is doing (yes I admit it) and it gets off to a tiff...there are times when it is left unaddressed because it just seems like all is well...that way is ok but I know that I feel much better when h does mention it...here I'll give you an example..
one night this week after the kids were in bed h was at the puter and I was watching tv..
h came to me and said..in case your wondering what I'm doing on the puter...I'm looking into refinancing again..the rates are too good right now not to.. (I was wondering but didn't question so was happy he let me know)
eventually h makes a phone call from the other room...sitting there talking about our money..taxes...etc...at first I thought he was talking to a bank or something but then said to myself duh look at the time...plus the manner in which he was speaking wasn't totally business...I asked him who he was talking to..he either didn't hear or ignored me...I asked again...he said his uncle..this didn't settle well with me simply because his uncle (is an accountant) does our taxes and knows what he makes and pays etc..so why would he be telling uncle this info that I assume he already knows..whatever....I sit in the other room overhearing h talking all about our money and the different options of the refinance...trying to decide wich to go with...
it starts to bother me that h would be talking to someone else about this decision...leaving me to feel stupid and left out of the loop etc...
h knows I'm bothered by something so when he's off the phone comes and says hey...w'sup...well I try to let him know my feelings of hearing him talk with someone else about our finances...how it makes me feel stupid..left out etc...
h gets pissy.."even when I'm trying to do something good I can't do it right"
that was not my intent...
the argument that should not have even been an argument got out of hand...to the point where I went off about stupid things one being h's lack of ability to communicate...
we went to bed angry
but the morning came and we let it go...
the end of the next day when h came home from work..
he said..
I want to let you know I'm sorry if the way I handled things made you feel bad...you were the first person I told about the idea of refinancing..I spoke to uncle becuase he is knowledgable about such things and I trust his oppinion...
that conversation did have more in it...
but the fact is..all h had to say was I'm sorry for the way things went....
in doing that...he was not having to take full blame (becuase I know part of the problem is my own issues of feeling stupid or left out in general and not just with him) and I didn't either...
