No one is telling me to have this talk with H. It is an internal struggle I am having with myself. One day I want to give the ultimatum and the next day I don't know if I can. I guess my struggle is because I feel that I NEED to, whether I WANT to or not...otherwise I may never have the courage to if I wait until I am "ready".
My dad walked out on my mother about 5 years ago. My mother was devastated. After waiting for a very long time she still couldn't bring herself to file for D. I am not sure why, but my dad never did either. Here they are...5 years later...still married. They never see each other, they live in different towns, they never talk. I think my mother just can't bring herself to take that step. I will not allow my situation to turn into that. I can't be in limbo for 5 years!!
I am just so tired. Some days I feel like I just need to let this go, let H go, and move on with my life. I am worried that my need to hang on to this marriage is because I simply don't want to be D....and not because I love my H. I honestly don't know if I love him anymore.
