Hi Angelica- We have missed you. I hope you come around more often.
My M is the second for both me and my H. My first M was short term and even though My first H and I had two children together, he (with the help of the OW...now his W) has continued to make me out to be a monster...so, I don't believe there are any or ever will be any warm feelings there for me. My H's first W cheated on him and they did not had the best relationship trying to raise their D. He always claimed he married her more out of obligation because they had dated so long and has never spoken fondly of her. So, I don't believe he has held on to any positive feelings toward her.
Now on the other hand, my mother left my father for an OM. She has told me she regrets her choice and that she still loves my father...but she never made an attempt to reconcile with him.
So, IMO, there is no hard fast rule about first spouses. Every relationship is different but that being said, I think a man or woman that leaves a long term M in a crisis, will more than likely have unresolved feelings for their LBS.
