This morning I woke up like I am in hell, I cannot stop thinking my wife "doing stuff" (like she defined it) with OM - it is like a punch in the stomac - I feel badly like calling her - but I know I have to be strong and don't do it. Yesterday she also told me that she is going to put a lot of effort with this guy, that she learned from our failure and now she is ready to put all the work in the relation from the very biginning - why not doing all this with me? - because it is too late and with him she is going to have a fresh start, and that is what she needs... a fresh start. If somebody stabbed me in the heart I would have hurted less. Right now I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel - she seems very decisive - she said also that for her is very hard to le me go, that she doesn't show it but she is "goinig through something" - she misses to be married but she knows she doesn't want with me - she doesn't whant to stay alone - and she is going to try with this guy that she "likes a lot" I don't know what to think or what to do. Today I am totally lost - The family therapist I am seeing who advised me to read DR said that the kids "are counting" on my cool head - to stay on trak - but now I don't see any trak to stay on. I am kind of deperate.
