I'm still not sure I can make up my mind what to do. When I first came here I remember seeing advice that said do not fight the D but let them do all the work. It's just that to me that feels like giving in and sending a message that I no longer care when in reality I care very much.
I felt exactly the same way. I felt like every time I completed a form, or provided information, I was making something happen that I so didn't want to happen. But there isn't a choice when the law requires it. As naej said, doing what the law requires, at the last minute required, isn't giving up at all. Looking out for your interests and the children's interests isn't giving up either, it is respecting yourself, IMO at least.
This is just tough and it sucks. Commiseration isn't worth much, but you got it.
