I know there is a whole lot of emotion in the house right now. That's why I KNOW I need to separate/detach from that. And I know her mood is probably related to NC with OM. And I know she's angry at me for separating her from her drug of choice and my telling the kids what was going on. I know all those things and I know that it's probably a good sign that NC is still in place, but I just have a hard time being ok with her continued abuse. And it IS abuse.
I've spent the last 8 months with her rubbing this affair in my face. I've spent the last 10 months letting her steal from me everything I ever trusted and believed in.
Then don't spend the next two weeks letting her be rude. I still think you should call her on this, and it only needs to be once, maybe twice, and it DOESN'T have to be snotty or angry or even drawn-out. Just a simple "Look, I get that you're pissed at me right now. But you don't have a right to be disrespectful, or downright RUDE. If you don't want to talk to me, that's fine, but a simple response and simple common courtesy, I do expect. I'm going to meet the guys for a beer or two, I won't be late." (and, I still think, a kiss on her forehead would be a nice touch, but that's up to you)
Hope, I see this as a boundary for you. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's OK for you to be totally ignored, after everything else she's done. If you're OK with this, I'll shut up. But you DON'T seem okay with it, in fact you seem very agitated. If you take this stand on this little thing, maybe you can start fighting your way back on the bigger things. If NOTHING else, I think you will feel better about YOURSELF, and you will have gained some respect in your wife's eyes.
Don't get me wrong, she is NOT going to go "You know, you're right -- I've been a jerk, and I'm so sorry, honey." In fact, she may not even acknowledge you. But I bet you start to get responses from her, and I guarandamntee you that she'll find it attractive.
