Hope4us' Struggle, part 2

[Hope4us]

I know there is a whole lot of emotion in the house right now. That's why I KNOW I need to separate/detach from that. And I know her mood is probably related to NC with OM. And I know she's angry at me for separating her from her drug of choice and my telling the kids what was going on. I know all those things and I know that it's probably a good sign that NC is still in place, but I just have a hard time being ok with her continued abuse. And it IS abuse.

I've spent the last 8 months with her rubbing this affair in my face. I've spent the last 10 months letting her steal from me everything I ever trusted and believed in. And still she acts as if I'M the one that has done something wrong. She still acts like she was completely justified in having the affair, and this is who she is and if I don't like it, tough.

Well, if this is who she is, I have NO desire to be with her. Not now, not in a couple years, never. And it's just a shame, because there is now never any chance to know just how good our marriage ever could have been if she'd have spoken up as to issues she had in the marriage BEFORE sleeping with him. But she just doesn't get that.