I swear that my stbxh is beyond crazy some days. This week he can't wait to get rid of me and has reverted back to blaming me 100% for our failed marriage. He had the nerve to tell me that I was crazy to think that we were 50/50 at fault cuz it's ALL me!! WTH is that???
I wish I didn't have to see him at all these days because I end up on that friggin' roller coaster all over again. Unfortunately, he is no now refusing to move his stuff out.. advised that the courts will see it as abandoning his house/child, etc. So, he stays over a couple nights a week.. Nothing I can do about it right..
In the meantime, I have been such an emotional basket-case and in many ways just wish this to be over with so that I can move on with my life. It's just so sad to have to give up the whole dream all at once.. the dream house, the family, the husband... *sigh*. I know life goes on and it will get better and I've been living in this limbo for far too long... It's just hard to see it all slip away...
Oh.. but, there is good news. Training is going well for my race which means my pants are fitting better again. Plus, I talked a good friend into running with me.
AND.. the house that I love just came back on the market.. now, if only mine would sell!!
LO, hugs to you. Your H is crazy in this area of his life. That's what I always tell myself. He probably acts this way (intended or not) because he also sense that his dream life is going away and deep in his heart he knows he is the one causing this. So of course he wants to blame it all on you to justify what he is doing. Stay calm and cool. Go run off his negative emotions on you.
I swear that my stbxh is beyond crazy some days. This week he can't wait to get rid of me and has reverted back to blaming me 100% for our failed marriage. He had the nerve to tell me that I was crazy to think that we were 50/50 at fault cuz it's ALL me!! WTH is that???
LO, I don't intend this to come off sounding insensitive, but I had to laugh when I read this. Hmmmmm....let's see he had an affair and it's 100% your fault that your marriage is failing. So I'm assuming you are the one that held a gun to his head and told him to have sex with the OW. Do you have a license to carry that gun?
Okay, now that you shared your crazy H story let me go ahead and share mine. About 2 weeks ago H and I went to a charity dance together. Okay, keep in mind that I got a little tipsy while there. We went back to his house and he fell asleep/passed out, so I decided to snoop (yes, I know a big no-no) but I just had to see for myself if he was still involved with her (he kept denying that he was). I checked his phone and there were 3 missed calls from the ______(be my guest to fill in with any word you would like describing the OW). Remember the wine was making me brave so I decided to hit the call button on his phone and call her on his phone! I told her to leave him alone. She said she wasn't bothering him. I said 'why are you calling him then?" Are you ready for this answer she gave me? "He's my boss, so I need to call him about work." I said,"At midnight? I don't call my boss three times in one night and certainly not a midnight" She then didn't believe it was me on the phone, said it was my DD16. WTH? She didn't believe I was with him. I could not convince her that it was me, so I said "I'll just let you talk to him" and I woke him up and handed him the phone. Well, guess what my husband said when it was all over. He said it was none of my da*n business to be looking at his phone. I handed him my phone and told him he was welcome to look through mine. Now here are my winners for the most ridiculous thing ever said by a WAS.
"You crossed the line when you called her." (I thought he was the one that crossed the line a while ago!) "You just cost me my secretary" to which I replied, "Well, good she cost me my marriage"
I didn't mean to hijack your thread, but I just had to let you know that our H's belong to the same society. "Lost their Freaking Mind" society!!!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Thanks Yoyo.. Just more of the same for me. I cannot believe you called the ow. I hope you at least got some satisfaction from give her a piece of your mind. Personally, I would rather vomit than hear ow's voice.
STBX is going to be around most of the weekend and I'm dreading it (Except I get more time with D4!!). I try to stop caring but it bugs me when he still lies about where he's going and it bugs me when he throws it in my face!! So, I prefer him to just say nothing..
I did get satisfaction. It let her know that she is "all" that she thinks she is. If she was he would have been with her instead of me. Yes, I know that his isn't committed to me, but call me childish, I was glad to get a rise out of her.
I know what you mean about dreading being around H. I can detach so much better when I'm not around him. You've been with your H for so long. You have a child together, you can't just turn your emotions off. Maybe when he is spending time with your DD you can find something at the house to keep you occupied. Just enjoy the bonus of getting to be around your precious little girl.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
UGH!! STBXH just dropped off D4 and is off to ow's (where he typically stays 5-6 night a week now). However, he just slept here four nights in a row and now D4 keeps asking over and over why he has to leave and where he's going. It is ripping my heart apart! She just doesn't understand and him being here all those nights just seemed to have confused her more and disappointed her more now that he's gone. Can someone remind me again how resilient kids are????.. cuz it doesn't seem to be the case here...
>>I swear that my stbxh is beyond crazy some days. This week he can't wait to get rid of me and has reverted back to blaming me 100% for our failed marriage. He had the nerve to tell me that I was crazy to think that we were 50/50 at fault cuz it's ALL me!! WTH is that???<<
Of course he has to do that. The guilt would overwhelm him. You have to emotionally DETACH. Sheesh!! Just smile and agree. It's when you disagree that he's going to fight with you and create drama so this whole thing is easier for him. Gosh, I just verbally agreed with every crazy thing my husband said during the D and it completely deflated his balloon. At this point you have to stop caring WTF he says and thinks.... but I do understand that's difficult. Emotions tend to flare....
>>Unfortunately, he is no now refusing to move his stuff out.. advised that the courts will see it as abandoning his house/child, etc. So, he stays over a couple nights a week.. Nothing I can do about it right..<<
Not too much. You can be helpful and box the stuff up so he has it ready to go (and so you can get him out as quickly as possible...but don't present it that way! ). Also, give him the junk you were given for wedding gifts etc... Let him have the memories. I also got copies made of the home videos so my husband would have those memories too....
>>Can someone remind me again how resilient kids are????<<
That's a fallicy people created so they don't feel so guilty about choosing to be part-time parents.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Karen
). Also, give him the junk you were given for wedding gifts etc... Let him have the memories. I also got copies made of the home videos so my husband would have those memories too....