Quote: I would like to ask the WAW's how they found thier corner pieces.
since I was never actually a real waw I don't know if I'm qualified to answer..but being a woman who probably would have left eventually if things didn't change I might have some ideas...
it may be difficult to look at a m simply using one puzzle...becuase there are many dynamics involved once the m turns into a business r (financial) or a family (co-parents)
but if I had to (well actually I did because I didn't have to let h come home) choose a few corners they may be...
health...if each partner stays monogomous it is proven that married persons are healthier than single (I would imagine for me that would go further than just std's, even during seperation I got a taste of the single life...bars..dancing...drinking...smoking...not that I don't still do those things but they are done with less frequency than would be if I chose to stay single)
financial...the earnings of two are better to live on than the earnings of one...(that may more apply to h than I as I am currently not working so if I didn't allow him home he'd be paying for us and himself but in being home there is more in the pot for all four of us)
family...yes it is possible to have family with divorce but it is a hell of a lot easier for that to happen if mom and dad can manage to stick together...now that doesn't mean stay if your misserable but truly understand why it is you are misserable and is it really all the op before you decide they are too unbearable to raise a family with.
companionship...yes it is possible to regain that friendship that was once there...after all we didn't marry just for the party.
love...well this one's a difficult one to express...there are many different ideas on what love is...ie...I was given the old "I love you, I'm not in love with you" well honestly to me it wasn't so devistating to hear that as I wasn't "in love" with h either...how could I be?? I did realize that I loved him though...loved him enough to want him to be happy...when h finally came around...one of the things most striking to me was that he said...the kids and I were always in his thoughts...we came first even before himself...knowing that I would always be a part of him and therefore he couldn't be with another (even though he was in love with her) great consolation?? not really but then again yes it is nice to know.
everyone will have their own corners...it would be uncomfortable for you to build your m based on the corners that someone else chooses...someone may think that one of my corners being "family" is a gaff...while to another it would be huge as important.
hope that helps some or at least gets the ball rolling for others thoughts.
