Sorry I haven't been around much for the last week.
I'd say if you aren't able to do action number 4 anymore.. if you're just itching to have a verdict or not sit in limbo anymore than I think action item number 1 is the route to go. You have already sent a card... you've told her that you're sorry...
It's going to take a lot of guts!! I wish you courage by the bucket full!
