Hi M, just checking in on you, good round of golf for you I see. What did you think of the outcome of the Masters?
I am also in somewhat of a dilema that you are in with anniversary. My W and I started dating on April 18,1986 and I have always treated this like an anniversary for us and I am not sure of what I should do either. I will keep an eye on your thread to see what others are telling you to do, part of my wants to send flowers to W and other parts of me say let it go. I don't know what to do and I'm sorry I can't help you on that.
I only watched bits and pieces of the Masters due to my sitch. I'm trying to spend lots of time with my D2 while I am home so I am letting all else slide.
Not many hits on this thread now. Everyone here may sense my M to be a lost cause.
My W is going back to MC tonight, so I take that as a positive. I don't really know if that means she is still thinking maybe she does not know what she wants or maybe the MC will help her move on?? I really don't know why she is going. I was going no matter what so I guess if she shows, then she shows.
I play Ping Eye2's by the way. I saw your post last night and read your thread. It's hard for me to post from home sometimes.
M, I don't believe anyone here has given up on your sitch. Don't get down on yourself, "easier said than done I know" you still have a lot of hope in this. I think it is a great sign that she is going to MC tonight. Keep working on yourself, you still have time to turn this around. I believe your wife still doesn't know what she wants, you have to prove to her that it is you that she wants and she would be crazy to go through with a D.
M, I don't believe anyone here has given up on your sitch. Don't get down on yourself, "easier said than done I know" you still have a lot of hope in this. I think it is a great sign that she is going to MC tonight. Keep working on yourself, you still have time to turn this around. I believe your wife still doesn't know what she wants, you have to prove to her that it is you that she wants and she would be crazy to go through with a D.
Hang in there. Good luck tonight at C.
I'm trying to hang in man. By the way my name is Mike.
She asked me last night why I wanted her to come to the appointment. I told her I was going for me and she was welcome to come. I don't know if that's the right answer or not.
We will see what the appointment holds at 3:00pm. We had a homework assignment. We were supposed to wrirte letters to each other. Mine is 5 pages long. We will see what happens.
Well, tonight I am happier. The MC session went well. IN THE WORDS OF THE IMMORTAL FORREST GUMP..I may now have a F**KNClue. Another session for next week and the W has agreed to go.
It appears that my 6 page letter to my W, made her see that I do know how we got where we are and it seems I have cast some doubt in her mind once again.
The MC even told her so and pretty much told my W she might want to think about what she is doing and slow down a bit. I have opened up emotionally to my W and she now sees it. This is a complete 180 for me. I am usually withdrawn and quiet. She saw some of the man she fell in love with tonight.
Her letter to me still stated she wants out but there is some doubt there. I can see it and I can feel it in her. She told me at a restaurant after our session that she fears that if she follows thru with the D that 2 years from now I will be someone else's prince.
The letter I wrote to her was emotionally draining for me. I am now worn out and I know my W is too.
I wish I had found this site years ago. This place has helped me so much. The MC has helped me also. I have a new hope that I can save this M.
Next on my agenda..reconnect with my S from my first M. My withdrawals have a lot to do with the disconnect and pretty much no real relationship with my S due to my first W and her ability to get by with not bringing him for his scheduled visitation with me. I plan on doing that this week. He has started playing a little golf so I am taking him to the course on Thursday after work. I know he feels like I abandoned him when he was 10. I need to show him that I did not.
I feel pretty good right now. I have some hope and tomorrow looks to be a brighter day. Back into the gym tomorrow evening.
Great job Mike, I am glad C went well for you and W today, that was also huge that counselor told your W to slow down. It appears the letter you wrote really stuck with your W. I wrote my W some letters early in our S but I don't think she put much weight in them and to be honest I don't even remember if I was explaining my wrong doing or begging her back in them. Keep up the good work you are doing. Have fun with your S playing golf. My S7 told me this weekend he was ready to get back out on the course, of course he said this when we were watching the Masters and I explained to him how the pros get their balls, clubs and clothes free, that pumped him up. It's funny how their little minds work.
Yes, the letter did some good I believe. The letter was suggested by the MC-homework for us. It was a heartfelt letter taking responsibility and accountability for my parts of the carnage of our M, but also a letter telling her I was letting her go if she chooses to go. I have to maintain a positive image for her and not backslide. Seems like I always take a step forward then take two back.
My W always thought I had no clue. I had a clue, just did not know how to fix it(me). I feel I am on the right track now.
Excellent news on the marriage sessions. Also I think it is great that you are reconnecting with your son. Keep up the good work and I know what you mean about feeling emotinally spent after a long heartfelt letter.
Nobody is giving up on your sitch, and even if they were, it only matters what you do and say. Not what we think and say.
Married:10 years D final 8/28/08 10 minutes is all it took Life goes on and DB was no small part in growing from the Divorce!
Excellent news on the marriage sessions. Also I think it is great that you are reconnecting with your son. Keep up the good work and I know what you mean about feeling emotinally spent after a long heartfelt letter.
Nobody is giving up on your sitch, and even if they were, it only matters what you do and say. Not what we think and say.
Thanks. Trying to stay upbeat and positive. Yes, I need to get back with my son, develope a relationship with him. I know that has bothered me for some time and I'm sure it has him messed up bad. I know he feels abandoned by me.
There are positives all around me, I just need to open up and let the positives in..and stop looking at things in a negative way.
Well, I thought things were going ok and they still may be..I'm not for sure now. I happened to stop by my W's office unannounced today. I was going by Target on my way home and thought I would drop in, be nice and ask my W if she needed anything.
I walked in to the office and noticed that all pictures and references to her loving H,(me) have been removed. That makes me wonder?? What's up with that??
Is she really done even though she is still attending MC? Is someone coming by her office and they don't like seeing my ugly mug on the wall? Is she tired of looking at my pictures?
Mike, don't read too much into this. I am sure this is your W's way of not having to think about your sitch all day. If she is attending MC you have alot on your side. I think you would know by now if there was someone else. So don't put too much into this. Keep doing what you are doing and don't get down on this, easier said than done I know.
