It hurts me to see you have to go through this with your H. My H said almost the same thing to me about he wanted to be assured that I was going to put 100% effort back into the M. I had just got through telling the man that I did not know if I could ever feel the same way about him again! Maybe it is a "man" thing.
What does not sound at all healthy is that your H is sticking his head in the sand. Except, the "sand" here is the videos. I know how addictive Internet games can be and how they can lead to other things b/c that is what got me into trouble and eventually meeting the OM and having the EA.
When you were talking about how the couple you two went to visit talked about their past/problems and you laid yours out there and was hoping that your H would do the same when it came his turn to talk....but instead, he sounded like everything was fine. That was always the way my H was about everything. I honestly wondered if he went around in complete denial about life! If I had not told my parents how things really were between my H and I as we were growing up in our M.....they would have thought everything was just lovely! My dad even came over one night (many years before he passed away) to talk to us and give my H a chance to talk, but H would not do it, instead he just smiled and sounded like everything was honky-dorey. I could have pulled my hair out! As you know b/c you have kept up with most of my stitch, my H would never consent to go to a counselor even after we almost S when he found out about OM. He will never discuss our personal life with anyone.....never. He can't even put into words how he feels just to me!
My H spends a lot of time on the computer, but it isn't with games b/c he has never been interested in anything "fun" like that. But my heart just breaks over what your H is doing where those little girls are concerned and I am very worried about what kind of scars it may leave on them and their personal R with other men when they get older. If they feel their daddy doesn't want them or show them enough love.....well, you know what will more than likely happen when they are grown and I know you don't want that.
Wish I could help you sweetie. I know you feel that you are trying as hard as you can and it looks like he isn't doing anything. I sure hope the trip to Vegas isn't a "bust" in more ways than one.
I admire how you are there for so many others.....and especially me! In spite of your own pain, you reach out to others to encourage them. Several times you have just come to me to let me know that you understood how I felt. That helped so much!!!
That is about all I can do for you honey, is tell you I know how you feel. Remember we all are here for you whenever you need to reach out to us. I hope he gets his head out of the "sand" soon.
Love ya, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
