WAS out of house 8 months, but probably emotionally out of m for several years. I do certainly have some blame, but have come around to seeing it takes two.
After 3 months of contact the W went south and requested nc. she went 3 weeks before beginning calling again at all hours. I made the mistake early on of crying and pleading, and when the calls began again, I started lecturing and trying to fix it rather than just listen.
4 months ago out of the blue she filed a po, and so there has been 0 contact. She is lifting po this week so that we can both participate in several family functions, including an upcoming wedding. She missed one a few weeks ago because all 6 kids have let her know that with only one parent allowed it would not be her.
I have met with a couple of church leaders and some of her former counselors who paint a pretty bleak picture of her coming around, and I have to agree. I think she will be staying with the D program once the wedding is over.
I feel like I have 2 months to make a diff, if I can. Not many others see much hope, and I am not too optimistic myself.
I have crawled out of the depression hole I was in prior to the po and am feeling so much better about life and myself, I am gun shy to even interact with her for the next few months, but know it should be done, at least for our daughter.
Besides being positive, upbeat, confident and supportive without being enabling, what other things should I do/not do? Heck, I'm wondering at this point how I handle the first get together we end up at? Just very layed back? Run up and give her a hug, then sit by others? What would be a 180 that she would be suprised at and keep me on an emotional level keel. I do NOT want to go back in the depression hole! How do I handle Mothers day gifts-her upcoming bday gift, ect...? Thx!
