Sad, old buddy, I haven't been around much these days....
I know our "sitches" are chronologically very similar, and I know that I am further along in the "healing" process.
BUT, Sad, IF CJ's antics had gotten him into the kind of trouble it COULD have...I SERIOUSLY doubt I'd be where I'm at.
CJ could have been fired, as he used the company credit card to finance several of his extravagent rendesvous (I'm not sure if they ever found that out)....he saw her on work time, and communicated with her on work time.
What if this became public and tarnished his ability to work again?
What if he'd gotten her pregnant and she were suing him for support?
And this doesn't even come close to all the "Extra" insanity you and Sam are dealing with.
Hmmm....a flash of insight...Sad, why not do the reverse of what I just did? Imagine, if you can, how your R might be if NONE of those public ramifications were in the picture?
If the OM were NOT her patients, if you hadn't punched his lights out (sorry...I think he's malingering on the "can't work" thing just to try and squeeze you some more...grrrr!)....
I KNOW this ISN'T the current sitch, but if it were?
My point being...how much of your current anger, apathy, disconnectedness, etc. is due to these external things (heavy as they are...and they ARE heavy ) and how much is really about SAM and your R?
Not sure the two can be separated, but it was an interesting line of thought for me!
) and how much is really about SAM and your R?