The first anniversaries of "dark" events are the hardest to get thru. ... and your recent post certainly helps to place perspective on where you are coming from. No doubt it gonna take longer to recover when you are still in the midst of the aftermath and not seeing an end in sight. IOW, I can understand how you are having a tough time getting over the anger and hurt.
I wish I had some words to help in having to deal with it all, but all I can offer is validation and support for now.
You have done an admirable job of sticking with the process. I can't help but think that sunshine will eventually breakthough this dark cloud over your head.
... and your recent post certainly helps to place perspective on where you are coming from. No doubt it gonna take longer to recover when you are still in the midst of the aftermath and not seeing an end in sight. IOW, I can understand how you are having a tough time getting over the anger and hurt.