So many folks here that I feel like I'm getting lost in the shuffle at times. That's a good thing for so many to have made it to peicing!
Annaversarys of these kind are horrid aren't they? By the way, do you mind saying whatever became of your case for opening a can of whuppass on OM (you know you hold a special place of honor around here for that, don't you?) (((SBH)))
Hi Tal, it is good to hear from you. Thanks for responding.
I am glad so many are here, too. I wish I had more time to post to everyone...I feel selfish sometimes. I will do better.
Yes, I am tired of the annaversaries, the quotes, the things that were written, the bills, and the videotape that keeps running in my head. I am weary of it all. I hope you are doing better.
I did not know I had a place of honor for what I did to the om...that brings a smile to my face, actually. It probably shouldn't, I know. That annaversary is coming up too. While my goal of convincing the om to stay away from my family was met, it sure was expensive. It cost $3600 to have a lawyer help with the criminal aspect of the case. That part is over now.
But the bastard is suing me for mental anguish and damages because he has been unable to work since I confronted him. I was supposed to have a trial on Feb., 24, 2004 but it was continued so his lawyer can concentrate on suing my wife for malpractice. My wife is also being sued for malpractice by the om's wife since the two originally came to my wife's office for marriage councelling.
Then my case will be picked up again.
My wife will lose both of her cases. Her lawyer has said so. His job is damage control as he tries to keep those people away from our assets (of which we have few). If my wife's insurance company doesn't cover the full amount of what is awarded, it comes out of our pockets. House, car, everything could go.
Aside from the hurt I have endured because of her two affairs, is it fair for me to have to lose all I own too? And what if we don't have to payout, she still owes about $100,000 for student loans, bills to her now closed practice, and lawyer fees. What about the quality of life my kids miss out on because of all of the damn bills we pay? Oh, and did I mention that my wife is now unemployed? WHY, somebody please tell me, why do I stay??
The first anniversaries of "dark" events are the hardest to get thru. ... and your recent post certainly helps to place perspective on where you are coming from. No doubt it gonna take longer to recover when you are still in the midst of the aftermath and not seeing an end in sight. IOW, I can understand how you are having a tough time getting over the anger and hurt.
I wish I had some words to help in having to deal with it all, but all I can offer is validation and support for now.
You have done an admirable job of sticking with the process. I can't help but think that sunshine will eventually breakthough this dark cloud over your head.
Sad, old buddy, I haven't been around much these days....
I know our "sitches" are chronologically very similar, and I know that I am further along in the "healing" process.
BUT, Sad, IF CJ's antics had gotten him into the kind of trouble it COULD have...I SERIOUSLY doubt I'd be where I'm at.
CJ could have been fired, as he used the company credit card to finance several of his extravagent rendesvous (I'm not sure if they ever found that out)....he saw her on work time, and communicated with her on work time.
What if this became public and tarnished his ability to work again?
What if he'd gotten her pregnant and she were suing him for support?
And this doesn't even come close to all the "Extra" insanity you and Sam are dealing with.
Hmmm....a flash of insight...Sad, why not do the reverse of what I just did? Imagine, if you can, how your R might be if NONE of those public ramifications were in the picture?
If the OM were NOT her patients, if you hadn't punched his lights out (sorry...I think he's malingering on the "can't work" thing just to try and squeeze you some more...grrrr!)....
I KNOW this ISN'T the current sitch, but if it were?
My point being...how much of your current anger, apathy, disconnectedness, etc. is due to these external things (heavy as they are...and they ARE heavy ) and how much is really about SAM and your R?
Not sure the two can be separated, but it was an interesting line of thought for me!
wow. i can't believe it has been so long since i have posted...talk about going dark!!
it certainly isn't for lack of subject matter! and the battles of over a year ago rage on today. my wife and i are still in the midst of lawsuites and we are still working on our marriage. i have held on because of the children but i have to admit, i am very unhappy. since my last post of over a year ago i started an insurance business and failed and my wife has begun work in accounting. she has had great difficulty with employment at the same time i have had great difficulty maintaining steady income.
but our children seem happy and in the end that is all that matters, right?
I don't know if I want to save this marriage anymore... The hurt has never gone away and I cannot get past the damage done... My wife yells at the children a lot... She is very moody because of her hypoglycemia...i dunno...i'm just thinkin'...I am almost 40 and in a good enough place where i could start new...the children would adapt, right???
... and your recent post certainly helps to place perspective on where you are coming from. No doubt it gonna take longer to recover when you are still in the midst of the aftermath and not seeing an end in sight. IOW, I can understand how you are having a tough time getting over the anger and hurt.