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Yep. What a stinky process for you and the kids to have to deal with. D.A.M.! (mine too!)


Me: 42/H: 37
T: 10 years/M: 8
D9, S8
Bomb: 7.23.07
Separated: 1.20.08
D Final 3.19.09
Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09

My life is good.
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i just received a text message from H which said he cannot do this anymore and is miserable.



i called him and i said that he needs help and the alcohol is distorting his thinking. he accused me of controlling the situation and screaming at him and said not to get him help.



he is going back to other woman's and said he was pretty much choosing her over us.



i found this out as i was going to work but my boss said to take the day off.



and to think tomorrow is our 18th anniversary.


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
Joined: Apr 2007
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I'm so sorry you are going through this.

He does need help, but unfortunately you can't make him go and get it until he is ready to do so.

I think he will find that he is miserable with her too, but I guess it's something they need to find out on their own.

My prayers are with you.

BFM


There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.
David Burns, Intimate Connections
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SF,

I'm very sorry to hear this! You've got a great strength and will get yourself, kids and H through this! Sending hugs your way!

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Originally Posted By: steelersfan
No, he has not stopped drinking.

S17 reminded me that he could have been having the beginnings of a panic attack.

He had stopped drinking for one year with no effects whatsoever but now that he is home, he is drinking more as his way to self medicate.


My H has the trembling quite often, and they come on with his anxiety attacks.


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
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SF,

I am so sorry to hear this. Is he really leaving, or just threatening?

I know that you of all people know this, but....

If you say anything, it should probably be along the lines of, "I'm so sorry you feel this way. I would like you to stay, but I understand if you need to go for now."

Stay still, stay calm. God is holding you in His hand.

My prayers are with you.


Me:40, xH:41
M:19 T:21
D14, S10, D6
IDLYA bomb:12/22/06
OW bomb (21 yr. old employee):12/23/06
H move out 2/07, OW move in 5/07
D papers served 6/07
D final Nov. 26, 08 :-(
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I asked him if he was coming home tonight and he said he did not know and by the sound of things, he will be going back to her place. He has nowhere else to go either.

Now if he does leave, I go very dark.


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,549
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You don't deserve this. I'm praying for you


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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SF

I too am sorry to hear this.

However

Better now than later.

I'm sorry FOR YOU! You bent over backwards and then some for him. Did he deserve it, no, do you love him, yes?

Go dark, go very dark.

This time when you go dark take no calls, do not look at any texts NOTHING.

I think it was AmyC that said God gives us the tools it is up to us to use them. USE THEM.

Please SF.....for your sake use them.

Use them on your children too. Do not allow them to get away with things that hurt you. Do not allow them to hot HELP out around the house. Give them some responsibilites and consequences and follow through with them.

It's time for tough love all the way around.

{{{SF}}}

Be strong, be proud of your accomplishments, but know that you are able to accomplish so much more.

Put your foot down.

HUGS,

Jeanette


Change the Policy.
Allow PM's
Free all of us.

Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!

:-)
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he just told S17 over the phone that he has got to stop drinking, does not know if he is coming home, and get this, said he is afraid of me because of that text he sent to me saying he cannot do this anymore, that he is miserable.......................


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
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