W and I piecing this M back together #2

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Lan, For me the Job/Financial instability caused us a LOT of stress . So after I found some work I tried to save more and eliminated ALL debt, including the mortgage - maybe I went too far or she did not see the wisdom in it. I think we spent more than enough to live quite well on, but postponed big ticket items, even tho' W wanted to do things like renovate the kitchen, etc when there was not much income. We always had joint accounts, tho' W from time to time wanted her separate account whenever I questioned unnecessary spending. W always believed and insisted that taking out a loan would save us in taxes and I could never get her to understand otherwise! So that's where the "tight a**ed with money and being a miserable f**ker" fits in my book and I think W has a point.

I don't know how this sort of thing can be solved, esp if there's a big disparity in incomes or spending habits or risk taking. Marriage Builders recommends joint accounts with $50 a week in cash unquestioned - see http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5023_qa.html.

I had lunch with my bank manager after I re-mortgaged the house to pay off W. He says that he and his wife have separate accounts and each pays some designated bills and each sets aside some designated amounts for savings, retirement, vacation, etc. The mortgage is divided proportionate to their incomes. Seems complicated to me.

I don't know if I'd ever have to revisit this unless W decides to come back. But clearly money was a BIG bone of contention for her/us and she wanted much more control of it. But I'd like to know what you think?