Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so appreciative of you all taking the time to voice your opinions. I want to go and I think it is the right thing. I guess I could have still gone w/ the OM there, but it wasn't comfortable for me at all. I know they have both invited me, so I'll go. I really want to be there, but I was put in a totally unfair position by W concerning the OM's potential presence at the party. In any event, I feel I did the proper and mature thing and I'm still going to ask to have her for the following weekend so I can take her out just her and I to celebrate her birthday.
I do have two big questions that is hanging over me and is one of the two main points I need to focus on in my DBing. 1) Do I come across as trying to control my W's actions by going b/c I told her I wouldn't be going if OM was there? Thus, did my taking a stand control the guest list to some extent? I think it was the right and proper thing to do but I don't want to come across as trying to control what she wants to do. I have ZERO impact on my W's actions and I want to make sure my actions also are helping me to let go and not try to control what W chooses to do.
Secondly, the DR book says that if you "back down" you'll end up looking weak. Will my going be "backing down" and making me look "weak?" Or did my stand make me look strong and let W know what is and isn't appropriate and what I will and won't tolerate? I'm confused on the answer and would appreciate some more feedback.
I'll be responding to her later this afternoon and telling her I'll be attending. I'm working on how to word it carefully to keep her from being so angry.
