Thanks you two. I love hearing your advice because I know it is always right.
Let me catch you up on things: my court case has been post poned so the OM and his wife can each concentrate on suing SBHSAM for malpractice. My lawyer says SAM will definitely lose. We have learned that when she loses, people can come after her assets, of which we do not have very many, but if she has to declare bankruptcy, then my credit is adversely affected and I could lose my brand new, never used Insurance Agent's License. The hits just keep coming...
That's the other thing, I have earned a license to be a certified financial planner and I plan to be selling insurance, annuities, retirement plans, and long term care insurance. It is a good move for me; it is time to get out of the computer industry; there just aren't enough high paying jobs and I am tired of being laid off every 2 years. Tension between sam and I is high. She told me tonight she is lonely and tired of taking care of the kids while I work overnight. I have also been in poor health lately. I have severe pain in my lungs and ribcage and nobody can tell me what is wrong.
When I woke up to go to work tonight, I had a temperature of 101. She said I am always sick, but she can handle it better now. It made me feel guilty and it made me feel like she partially believes she did what she did because I am often sick. I feel like we have stepped back into last year.
So I told her, "This is just like last year when I was often ill, the kids were out of control because I worked overnight, and you are bichin' about everything." "I just want a break," she said. I laughed and shook my head because the last time she took a break was to go spend the weekend with the OM. She asked what I was thinking, and I told her she didn't want to know because it wasn't nice.
She was insulted and said something like "Great. Now I cannot even say I need a break without you throwing it back in my face." I said "I didn't throw anything in your face. Where'd you come up with that? Where should I be as far as the healing process goes?" She said, "I'm not a psychologist. Remember?" I asked, "What I mean is, do you think I am doing enough or do I need to do more? I cannot help that my health suffers so much. I had no control over when I was born or what genes I got. So I'm sorry. But, if you think I'm not doing enough, or am too sickly, then go."
"Wha-?
"That's right. I am tired of this sh*t. If you can do better than me, the pack up and get out."
She went upstairs to cry. I went to work. The kids kept jumping on their beds.
