MAL, I am still considering divorce, but you are right…I am still considering making this marriage the best it can be. Thank you for stopping by. Your help has always meant a great deal to me. I am sorry your D has probably gone through by now and I pray you are hanging in there and doing well.
Shiny, I think I love you. You are very good at saying exactly what I feel and even better at giving advice about what I should do.
I am so sorry I cannot be on the boards more often because I do not our relationships to be so one sided – me complaining and you folks fixing – but I have kinda shut down for now, at least as far as piecing is concerned. I am unable to escape the hurt I felt from the beginning. The reminders and anniversaries are killing me. The court date is coming up at the end of this month and I am afraid that hearing everything over again will push me over the edge? Or worse, what if something is revealed that I don’t yet know and my heart is ripped out again?
My schedule changed at work, so I now hardly see SAM at all. My pleurisy has gotten worse and I am on pain meds again (but I am not abusing them!). SAM is complaining a lot about being exhausted all of the time from working and taking care of the children. Does all this sound familiar? Yup, we are right back to where we were this time last year! Only this time, she isn’t fn anyone.
I keep thinking that once the anniversaries are past us, we can pick up where we left off. Until then, we are each of us, miserable. I am beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to forgive. I know time heals all wounds, but what if I get ten more years down the road and feel no better?
I guess all I can do is do nothing. I think LL told me to do that once…so many have helped me! Thanks to all!! I hope to be able to post on everyone’s thread soon. I am trying to make the days longer, but I haven’t quite figured it out yet.
