I've seen others advise (and I was early on advised) that you shouldn't show this website or the books to your GF or H or whatever. They are for you.
I think it sounds like you are still too focused on your GF, the OM, etc. I think you have to work on focusing more on you: GALing and doing things you enjoy. This should help increase your self-confidence & self esteem which will help you out also. Follow the other advice you've been given. I would also suggest you visit the other threads here as well. So many of us have surprisingly similar situations and I have learned a lot from doing that as well (and made some good friends too I think)!
