So a new day has come and W is hounding me again about whether or not I'm going to the party. I want to go and should go, but what I wonder now, with my DBing is will I be backing down? Will I in effect be controlling my W through my initial decision not to attend?
Those are definitely not the goals I want to accomplish here. I'm not sure they will get me closer to my goal of not disrespecting my W's feeling and making her feel as if I'm not trying to control her actions.
I'm very confused right now and I'll be talking again w/ my DB coach on Thursday morning, but I'm struggling w/ how to effectively handle this in the interim. If I do reply to her right now, I think I'd simply say "I'll let you know on the party and if I don't end up coming, I'll tell D why myself. Again, this is your weekend too, so I don't want to be a distraction at all. I want you two to enjoy it together."
Again, I'm not sure. I may get an e-mail from the DB coach today which may help me with the situation and how best to go forward w/ it today. If not, I'll try and put the answer off until I've had a chance to talk w/ my DB Coach on Thursday morning.
I'm hoping to be able to do this and still pull and effective 180. Right now, I'm not really sure what an effective 180 would be. I'm pretty confused.
