Just journaling….not analyzing but its hard not to.
Yesterday d13 called after school. She had softball practice and H was there to take her. I asked where he was and she said he was in the car waiting for her because he was mad that she yelled at the dog. He was going to wait in the car until it was time to go (45 minutes). She said he was in a bad mood. Whatever.
Anyway, I leave work and on my way home I see h pulling up our street. I know both kids are not home, so I decide that I am not going there either. I was worried about the mood d13 said he was in and I thought he may confront me about the house and I really didn’t want to deal with it.
So, off I went to my dads to hang for a bit and while I am there H calls asking where I am and what I am doing and if I would be home soon because he has a check for me for a sweatshirt d13 is ordering for softball. We talk for a bit. He asks about s16’s grades (honor roll) and we have a decent discussion. Mostly small talk. He told me how boring his day was.
He then asked what we were doing for dinner and I told him that I had forgotten to take something out and would probably be doing soup and sandwiches. He then asked if he could buy us dinner. I told him I would check with the kids to see what they wanted.
I drive home and H is in his car in the driveway. He hands me the check and I think he is leaving and he comes in. He asks again about dinner and when d13 calls him for a ride home from practice he asks her what she wants. So, I go pick up the kids from their activities and H picks up food for them.
When he gets back he asks what I want. He said he was in the mood for Mexican or Indian and I told him whatever he wants to pick up is fine. He said “I thought we would go out if that’s okay for you.” I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say or think or do. This isn’t dim. This is crazy. I am a dimwit…I said ok. Although in the back of my mind I couldn’t help but wonder what he wanted. Did he want to take me out to talk about selling the house? Did he want to go out and butter me up so that I am his buddy again? What does he want from me?
Anyway, we went to a Mexican place we had never been to. It was cute. Mariachi band and all. We talked small talk and nothing else. I did catch him staring at me a few times and I don’t know why. We talked a lot about the restaurant he works at. He kept saying to me “you would love this dish….” He also said that my dad should go to the restaurant. They make one of his favorite dishes. He kept saying this. Weird since he avoids my dad like the plague.
After dinner he suggested we stop and pick up ice cream for the kids. We did. When we got home, I went into my room to change and watch the ballgame and I thought that I would remove myself from the living room so he could spend time with d13. Who comes in to be with me….h. Whatever. He stayed for a while and I was getting tired and he left. I haven’t heard from him since.
Trying so not to read anything into this. Trying not to think at all about it. Just thought I would journal since my peaks and valleys on this trip are so extreme. Snodderly, back to dim or what? I just don’t know. This man has me so confused. I worry that he is manipulating me…I worry that I am too cynical. I know I need to refocus on the kids….and myself. Just wondering what you think of this.
A friend of mine thought that maybe at his Counseling session yesterday perhaps his counselor encouraged him to spend this time with me. I am more cynical and think he is angling for something.
Oh well, spent too much time already on this. I really did enjoy the evening with H. I just know that it was a fluke and I need keep expectations at below zero.
