I am starting a new thread and I hope it coincides with a fresh start for me also. I am feeling like my H and I get along better than ever and it is amazing to say the least. There are so many struggles in daily life at times it is a wonder we all have energy left to put into our Marriages. I cannot say I am riding off into the sunset and I am going to live Happily Ever After, that stuff is for Fairy Tales. But I will say that it is getting easier to feel like I am going to be able to spend a long time with my H. For what seemed like an eternity I felt so many ups and downs. It seemed like I was banging my head against a wall. I do remember that it said WAS take a while to believe the changes. My H sure did take a long time, he would test me whenever he got the chance. I see he is ultimately still the same Man but there is just something different about the way he interacts with me. I also am currently working on realizing he may never see things the way I do and he loves me in his way not in mine.
I love to hear I am beautiful and he loves me ..... I get it sometimes and not as often as I would like but there are ways he shows me he loves me w/o words. Like cooking or ML, snuggling while watching TV......
I am very appreciative of this website and all the people in our online community and will continue to post here as a way to organize my thoughts and get feed back once in awhile.
I realize the gift I have been given and now I am upon a time where I can start to enjoy this and feel more grounded. I never expected it to take almost 2 years and yet I am seeing it had to take that long to fix almost 10 years of confusion and not getting along and being silent.
For a long time my eyes were not open to my R and how vital it was to my life. I thought all the love in my heart would make everything ok,,, it helped to heal our R and for me to never give up. But it was working towards solutions that made my love jump out at him. And realizing he is human. And knowing it is not all about me it is about him too. I stopped focusing and what he was doing to me and looked deep inside and began to change all the ugly in me.... then set boundaries and now the fruits of my Labor.
It feels good to finally say I have officially Busted my Divorce. August of 2006, I stopped it, THE PROCESS , and started piecing. At times it felt more like Hell than Heaven. And now with patience and hard work it is more like Heaven than Hell. Starting a new page in my book and it feels right and it feels blessed. God bless......
