We had a MC session yesterday. I told him how I want a D b/c our stich hasn't moved in so long. I asked my W to go to a M retreat with me but she doesn't want anything to do with it. I told him I've tried everything, but I don't get much from her. The hand holding at the concert turned out to be my W was afraid of getting lost in the crowd.
She tore down every positive I've made and I couldn't take it. I didn't bring them up she did. Our MC asked why I wanted to go to the M retreat. I told him to work on our communications skills. She still said no. She was afraid it would be about religion. My W then reminded me how she doesn't L me. It hurt me then as much as the first time. She reminded me that I was the one staying in this R and not her. That I was the one who thought things would get better. She started off again of how useless she thought I was that she won't be giving me hugs anymore. I left the session and waited in the waiting room where my S10 was sleeping (I hope). As I waited I could here my W yelling to the MC of how I don't get it. I left the waiting room with my D and waited for my W in the car.
From the last MC session, I lost everything in 45 minutes. I don't think there's anything else to do but go dark. Stay dark and work on bringing our debt down. Work on me and don't plan on her being in my future. She doesn't care so why should I.
