Thanks everyone for the input, and Floyd, I beg your forgiveness for not having visited your thread in so long. I haven't been on the BB as often as I used to. I have so many negatives in my life right now (getting downsized and now having to find work in an oversaturated market, marital problems, being sued, having to declare bankruptcy, trying to buy a new home before bankruptcy, selling our home, interviewing for jobs and being turned down...)that I don't feel I have much to offer anyone. I have certainly not been DBing as much as I used to. I should try to get back on track with those efforts.

As for how I feel about her family withholding information, I can see your points but I just do not feel their motives were so altruistic. Their collective attitude was "whatever makes you happiest, dear." Like I said, her mother admitted to me the family handled the situation poorly; she did so by wanting a relationship with her daughter so much that she ws happy to talk with my wife about how much the other man was making her happy! Maybe this is more misplaced anger, but I don't think so. I do not like being a cuckold, and no matter whom tells you, it is still going to be painful.

We looked at a cozy home last night and we like it. Later that evening, we were talking about it and how nice it will be nice to have our children be able to walk to school...I allowed my excitement about a new beginning and my trepidation show through. I asked her if she was going to stay with me and not leave in another ten years. She teared up and said yes. Apologized again for her transgressions. She asked, "You don't believe me when I promise to stay, do you?" Then she said she "shouldn't feel sad or angry that I would ask such a question. She shouldn't expect me to believe her when she says it will never happen again."

I believe her. I have forgiven her. I have even begun to trust her. But every now and then I falter. Her cell phone rings, and she walks away while answering it...for a second I think "is it him? Or maybe another?" Then I beat myself up with guilt because I know how hard she is working on herself. I have become posessive. Once in a whil the thought "she did it once, that means she is capable of doing it again." Then it's back to the self loathing for feeling that way.

You have to understand that one of the main reasons I married her (besides her charm, beauty, kindness, empathy, character, intelligence, sensuality...) was that we had been friends for so long, I KNEW she would never hurt me this way. I KNEW she would be incapable of cheating on me. I have had that happen too often in my life.

Ok, now I'm off of my soapbox. She is changing for the better and so am I. And I am still desperately in love with her. I'm sure we can get past this with a little help from each other, you folks, and the Lord above.