Just checking in to say "HEY !!!" Spring sprung for a day here and now it is a bit nippy but okay. Went to see my attorney last Thursday as the kids father's attorney sent me an adjournment because they were trying to close the case before she goes on a leave. But she was leaving the date for May now...
I told the attorney no more, just get this done already. I also went to see my therapist and she asked me to explore some reasons why I kept clinging to the idea that H would come to his senses and stop this whole thing.
Good question. When she asked, i could immediately see Lis telling me that 'I had been here before". So true.
She also mentioned that the longer that I held on like that the greater my disappointment would be if it did not happen. So, i have bit of homework to do before my next appointment. Funny, when she confronted me on this issue, I almost felt that I needed to deny that I was holding on... What was i so afraid of to let go? I mean to really, really, really let go ?
Truth be told, H and I could have just been speaking two different languages. Mine the looking for anything to grasp onto as a sign of the turning point and his, "getting some" and seeing just how far he could go and get... weakening me for the final blow... who knows, it does not really matter. What matters is that I need to keep my boundaries firm.
A friend once told me "actions speak louder than words and especially with men". True dat. Another friend told me that I needed to move past this to save myself to open my eyes to how blessed I really am ...it is all true.
So let's see what happens.
Now that I have pushed the "fast forward button on the remote" with the attorney I genuinely feel more at peace. Funny, that same night that I went to the attorney, H called me at about midnite. I was sleeping, for a change. I started to read something into it but I kept my sleepy voice on and he cut his converstion very short. "he said that he "just wanted to make sure that the kids told me that he said "hi". Yup I said, they did. okay. Nite." Click. I rolled back over and went to sleep.
Not so long ago I would have stayed up all night tossing and turning trying to figure out why he called, what it really meant, blah, blah, blah.... No more. Nothing means nothing until it means something. And it is not going to mean something unless it is meant to.
Onward and forward.
Smooches to you all ...
*Ever*
Lis,no recuerdo su estacion y quiero visitar.Tengo el mismo email si recuerdas.Besos a la familia. Tiene el mismo email?
glad you are detaching toots)))))))))))) again, just remember that D is one of biggest blows to a person -asides from death- and that's why you feel deep inside there is a strand of hope, a want to hang on. Keeping things rolling legally has helped me too, to step away from denial. Keeping it all business during phone calls is a biggie, it has helped me detach lots too.
de donde eres?
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Detaching is all that I can do. What else can be said. I am trying not to read anything into anything because that only brings me angst. To quote my therapist, "his indecisiveness is causing you to be indecisive and you need to explore that." Exploring is what I will do. But I am feeling so much better lately and praying really hard that it will...
glad to hear that))))))))) I'm posting this on my thread, but I thought you'd enjoy it too, I usually dont' think much of the dozens of sappy ppoint presentations my cousin sends me, but this one hit home. Wish I could send it to you,it's in spanish, lol, but here is the english translation:
Never allow...
Never allow your heart to suffer in name of love love is an act of happiness not of suffering
Never allow your eyes to shed tears for someone who will never make you laugh
Never allow your name to be uttered in vain by a man who isn't worth it
Never waste time with someone who will never have time for you
Never allow blind passion to take you out of real life to take you into one that never existed
Never allow your feet to walk in the direction of a man who keeps running away from you
Never allow hurt, loneliness, resentment, jelousy and anger to weaken the amazing power that God put in you.
btw, your spanish is great!
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I need help. I really don't know what to do... Here goes.
Everytime I see the kids' father, he tells me that I look nice. It is spring break so we have had more "house changing" than normal this week. Anyhow, it was his weekend so on Saturday nite I get a call from him asking me to bring some sneakers for the oldest because they had to throw the hers away (long story). This was 10:45pm. I brought them because I did not want to get up early on Sunday but now it seems to just have been a ploy to just get me to come over or to know where I was. Silly me.
Anyway, the kids sleep over at a friend's on Monday, they were at the father's house and I needed to get them clothes. He said that he would come pick them up. I packed them and walked them over to prevent us being alone as a boundary to protect myself.
I did so and he made sure to comment on how I looked. Later in the evening, about 1145pm he called. I was sleeping and he called asking if he could come over to "make love to me." I was shocked and said," you wanted it this way. Under different circumstances, you could have had it anytime, anyway. But like this, I am flattered but I can't." I proceeded to make small talk about a few different things and then I said"Good night".
SOME ONE TELL ME... WHAT THE HECK ?!!
He is probably just looking for some but in the same token, what is this all about ? Our court date is May 12. What is this all about...
Honey they can hang on for the longest time but in general if they say it they mean it. Take it seriously and stay strong and act accordingly. Hard as it is to understand most likely he does not care about you at all. This may seem harsh but it is what it is. Wonder
if it smells like like a rat and looks like a rat, it IS a rat
Unless he talks about a total 180 and for sure changes the court date, stay clear away from him! if he really wants you with GOOD intentions, then he will do all in his power to change the tide, not just try to get some.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Can't let go of the posession.