"Saru mo ki kara ochiru."

[Nutty Chick]

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One of my friends, totally ground-based, talked with me on the phone the other day and I totally agree with his input. His 'theory' is that they still love us but in a different frame/level...that they then go out seek to fill their emotional gaps/holes. They aren't ready for D nor wish to have it at that moment....thinking that they can keep their finacial/domestic support going while they dip their toe in the water elsewhere. When they get caught and, in my case, file, this completely undoes the plan...their status quo....and they then get ANGRY WITH US for upsetting the boat. They probably never really thought we would go thru with D and when it happens, WE become the target...the cause for all of this.
FIB

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Funnily enough ... My H received paperwork for the divorce on Saturday ... Today he phoned and asked if we should leave the divorce till son 11 reaches maturity Okaaaay, what would that achieve??? No, he didn’t say I want to work on the marriage, I love you; Just… can we delay the divorce till I am absolutely certain that I have another comfort blanket. (or words to that effect)

Your friend is spot on.

But it is interesting in a warped kind of way the changes that initiating a divorce stir up.

NC