I think my H's problems are more than just MLC. I know he wants to come home and try to work things out. We are friends, even though people say I shouldnt be because a friend wouldnt treat me this way. But, I am just one of those people who would treat their worst enemy with kindness and respect. I mean, we dont pal around or anything, but we do talk to each other. I cant lie and say I still dont want to be with him. I promised to stand by my H until death do us part, for better or worse, and even though he hasnt took his vows as serious as I have, I will remain true to them until a divorce is final. I know that God will bless me no matter what. I know that I never gave up the fight. I will not let Satan distroy my marriage without a fight. However, I will during this time try to find out more about myself. I will continue to grow and I will be the best mom I can be to my kids. My H is sick right now. He may never get better, but I have a feeling he will. I know you all see a monster who treats me badly, but he is a good person who is just very confused. He is in therapy and it is helping. Whether he comes home or not, it is helping him find out more about himself. To be honest me and my H have talked and communicated more this year than ever before.
Now, I am not taking up for him. I am just saying that I love him unconditionally. He took care of me and my children for 15 years. He wasnt happy and went about finding happiness in the wrong way. It is what it is. I know that whatever happens, God will take care of me. This whole experience has brought me closer to God and made my faith stronger.
Im just rambling.....I dont have false hope, but I do have hope. Shouldnt we all?
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
