Hi all, most of you don't know me. I haven't been on here for a long time. My DH went through MLC and became a complete, butt head alien. Well, one year of fighting and DBing later, and he turned around and cried in my arms. I had had enough and was ready to walk out. That's what it took to get him to realize I was serious (after DBing for a long time and building the foundation that made him realize he still loved me). He dumped his GF, had a brief return to her, and then broke it off for good. We began rebuilding slowly, using Five LL principles, and here we are today. That was in 2003 and ended about 2004. It was a long, hard year of hard work, but it was so worth it.
Today we are again best friends. I wish I could say it's all behind us. Where before I trusted him 101%, after the whole mess, I still have doubts occasionally. However, it's 99% good, strong, solid friendship and love. We're very happy. He doesn't even remember a lot about it. Talk about alien. He literally can't remember things he said, did, or even what she looked like. It all (most of the time) feels so surreal now.
Anyway, I just wanted to hopefully give you all a little encouragement. I have been buying and handing out the 5LL and DR books to everyone I know that is having trouble. I've become a sort of unofficial DB coach. LOL. I just know it works, you just need to stick with it and have faith. Many was the day when I thought I was wasting my time, my breath and my life. But I stuck it out and worked even harder, and it all worked out in the end. Mainly, I think, was my attitude. I never, ever accepted failure. I never doubted the system. I kept the faith, very literally, and just kept the goal in mind and ahead of me. I think I was so stubborn that I was not ready to accept failure, and that went so long for me. It was 90% of what I believe saved our marriage.
Rottzilla, Thanks for checking in with us. It's helpful to hear from those who have moved on to a place of healing in their M.
As you say, faith is a critical piece in the marriage healing process. One has to find resources that they can put their heart into, whether it be this forum, self-help books, religion, writing, dancing, therapy, or whatever keeps them going in life. Without faith, our situations will end in D.
Thanks again. Posts like these are helpful reminders, on those days when the escape of D seems like an option.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Nice to hear an update! I remember the joint thread you had when you both posted. It is always nice to hear both sides. One year MLC seems like a blessing in comparison to so many stories. Thanks for making it and letting us know it works.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
