Quote: It seems like each swing of the pendulum is traveling to greater ends. It looks to me you are longing to have your H string those positives into a continuous thread, but H hasn't bridge those gaps yet, but he is closing the gaps. He is IS trying and doing more. At first you recognized a good thing from your H about once a week, then twice a week, maybe three times. Then next is to put two of those days together in a week, then two days together twice in the same week. Its a process creating more better days than bad ones and you are somewhere in the middle of that right now, and unfortuantely it is an agonizingly slow process with no other way to hasten it. It has to be taken one day at a time.
there's one reference to the pendulum that KAW refers to...when I typed in pendulum in the search box for this forum in the past 3 months there were several places it appears...
thing is we are waiting for all to be good all the time...to be able to relax..to breath...to know all is well. it is hard to not feel like we are waling through a mine field...what I have come to realize in time is that it is not just me who is walking the mine field...h is too...I don't feel like I have any bombs hiding around but I do.
one thing that may help is to realize that despite all that has happend "sam" is with you...loves you...and is working toward making the m work.
just as sam has things she must work through on her own...yes you are there to offer support but in the end it is up to her to grow and get through things....you must deal with certain feelings on your own...we all want to depend on our spouse to make up for the hurt...to say the right words to make it go away...to do the right things to ease the pain..but the truth is no matter how many of the right words they use or the right things they do in the end these are our feelings, our issues and we must face them and work through them on our own taking any good words..good weekends etc...as extras but not what we depend on to get us to where we need to be.
