I can only imagine how those words cut. That she keeps saying she doesn't know what she wants after 5 years IMO is fear. Fear of everything from losing you to being with you. It is all so sad. I still have a hard time not putting my H first (and thinking about him in every decision I make). It isn't helpful for me since he doesn't live here anymore.
I don't know what to tell you. You have stood your ground for so long. I keep you in my prayers and I hope that you find some peace tonight.
