We can work it out (part 3)

[Starshyne]

I chose "We can work it out" as my title because I am learning this great Beatles tune during my guitar lessons and the words really seem to speak to me.

I realize that I have never posted the full story. I just jumped in head first into what the issue was with the OW and went from there. Here is the whole story....

August 2006: While I was gone to a Beatles convention, H seeks out a prostitute. He kicks her out of the car in the middle of the act because he can't believe he is doing such an awful thing.

October 1, 2006: H informs me about the prostitute because he believes in his mind that he has an STD (most likely HIV).

October 2006--March 2007: H and I are in MC and work though many issues in our marriage. H goes to IC and works on himself. H goes through about 10 tests to prove to himself that he doesn't have an STD. Our marriage seems to be better than ever (in my eyes)

July 2007: H gets a job after being unemployed for 9 months. We go on a wonderful vacation and decide to start trying to conceive in 2008.

December 24, 2007: I walk by H's cell phone and it beeps. I look at it and see a text message that says "U 2 Babe." H denies knowing about it. From December 25-January 1, H continues to leave and not come home until 1-2am.

January 2, 2008: H finally admits that he has a friendship with a girl that he met through work. He says that their friendship means just as much to him as our marriage. Tells me that he no longer loves me romantically. For the next 2 weeks, H stays at OW's apartment only coming home to shower and eat lunch.

January 12, 2008: H tells me that he is not sexually attracted to me and bascially hasn't been for years, not since before we were engaged. Said that he married me because he knew I would be a great wife.

January 14, 2008: I tell H that he has to decide between me or the OW. He chooses the OW and gives me the keys to the house. In the middle of the night, he comes back home saying that he was wrong and loves me and wants to work it out.

January 16, 2008: H wants to go back with OW. I beg and plead and cry. This is known as the night Sara went psycho. After H left I followed him to the OW's apartment where I sat in the parking lot and cried. When I came home, I read the entire DR book and found this site.

Feb 1, 2008: H talks to a pastor/friend and decides he needs to break it off with the OW and come home. Still in contact with OW, but lying about it. Tells me that his plans are to stay in the house with me until he can get enough money to afford his own place.

Feb 18, 2008: OW says something that makes H really mad and he once again breaks it off with her. She contacts me and says that getting involved with a married man was the biggest mistake of her life and is sorry...

March 7-8, 2008: OW ends it with H for good. Says she will get a restraining order if he ever comes around again.

April 12-13, 2008: H stays out all night and doesn't call. I get really angry about it. Attitude in H is starting to change (postively at the moment)

So there you have it...the whole ugly story. H is still acting very kind to me. He mowed the lawn! Did some dishes, washed the towels...stuff that he typically would do around the house. I like the changes, but I am not sure how long they will last.