Hope all is well. I am going to be brief, but I did want to comment on your posts. You said that your best chance of saving your marriage was truly letting go and moving on. You got it. Did that about 2 months ago. Best thing ever. In the process of me pretending to myself to let go, I actually, honestly let go. I started feeling exactly the way you feel now. When H started to feel like I accepted our reality he started hanging around more and having more positive conversations. This has had a great impact on our parenting, but H has intiated ML 3x. I took him up on the offers of course Best part of all, I am really starting to wonder if staying married is the best thing. All I knew how to do was fight for my marriage. I have now learned how to do so much more. I still want my marriage to work, but I am strong enough to not take H back if he wants to come back without making serious changes. I am strong enough now to give it some real thought. I think I am even strong enough to say no if it is not the best thing for me. Get this-- it is not the blah, blah you tell yourself to make it through the day. It is actually starting to be true. Still hurts, but I am starting to come from under. Sounds like you are too.
Best part of all, I am really starting to wonder if staying married is the best thing. All I knew how to do was fight for my marriage. I have now learned how to do so much more. I still want my marriage to work, but I am strong enough to not take H back if he wants to come back without making serious changes. I am strong enough now to give it some real thought. I think I am even strong enough to say no if it is not the best thing for me. Get this-- it is not the blah, blah you tell yourself to make it through the day. It is actually starting to be true. Still hurts, but I am starting to come from under. Sounds like you are too.
