You sound like you are in a relatively good place on this. You are aware--many people don't realize until it's far too late to fix the financial mess, and as a result may spend years trying to recover, if they ever do. Good for you for seeing things clearly. It hurts, but the alternative is far worse. I naively thought things would be moving along toward reconciliation, or at least a serious effort at it, but then I realized I wasn't getting any effort from her. I don't have an inheritance coming (she has a large one coming), and so I finally decided the risk of letting the status quo go on was too great.
Hold firm on the financials Wednesday. You don't need to be mean about things, or greedy, but you should stand for what is rightly yours no matter how angry or accusatory she might get. Ignore her rage/victimhood at that time. You are there for you only. If she wants to talk seriously later, then there's time for that if that is what you want.
