It just amazes me that the OM and OW talk to each other about this stuff. I wished you two could "get the heck out of Dodge" so far away from either of them that you'd never have to run the risk of seeing or hearing from them again. They must be some pair!
The more lies your w listens to, the worse off she is going to be until she decides who she has known the longest and the best. Be careful about defending yourself or it will sound like over-kill and that you protesteth too much! If she accuses you, I would tell her that she has got to start believing you once and for all and that you are going to stop giving an account for yourself every time she questions you. If she continues to tell you what somebody else has said, just look at her and then ignore the statement or question and start doing something else as though it is not worth discussing. Hopefully, she will get the idea that it really is not worth it. It only hurts the MR.
I can only imagine how terrible this must be for both of you to have A's with another couple. So, complicated. That is why I thought she just wanted "pay back", but now I don't know. Just do what the DR book says to do. That is the best advice that is on the market.
Keep posting and keep working to be the better man in her eyes.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
