I started posting several weeks ago regarding an affair I had that lasted for a year on and off. My W discovered the A for the second time and was devastated, who could blame her. Now she is having an affair with the OW ex fiancee!
My C told me that my W having an affair is not untyipical in situations like this. Her A is a way to help her cope and understand what/why I did what I did. Now it seems as though she may be falling in love with the OM. I know that woman have affiars for "love" and men for pysical reasons.
I am afraid because her behavior is totally out of character for her. My W is very self concious about her body, even though she has no reason to be, and was never permiscuous. Now this OW is telling her everything she wants to hear and she is cutting everyone out. She will stay out till all hours of the morning, and has even spent the night with the OW.
My fear is that his actions are a set up, he still has frequent contact with the "ex fiancee" and according to her he has even asked to give it another shot between them.
My W is so out of character right now, she hardly spends time with our children (S-7/ D-5) avoids her friends and is constantly telling me to move out of our house. I realize that she is still very upset about my A, but when I mention that she is doing the same thing she will reply that it is not because "As far as she is concerned our marriage is over so she can do what she wants". I know she doesn't really mean it, I hope.
She has promised not to run out and file for D, and she has not. She has said that she will give it time but she doesn't think anything will change, but we went through a very rough patch two years ago in which she was the definition of a WAW, and she told me again and agian that nothing would change, infact whe had filed for D and after a couple of trips to the court house and several thousand dollars combined she stopped it cold.
Even after the discovery of my A we were going to work on things and spent a week together on a Carribean cruise, wher we both expressed our love and devotion to eachother constantly, but as soon as we returned home it is like a switch went off and she began pulling away and acting very distant from me and everyone else.
I am praying that this is truly part of a recovery process for her and not the end of our 9 year M.
I would like advice or words of encouragement from anyone who may have experienced something similiar.
And to answer a question that was asked severaal times under my other thread "long term affair" in the extramarital affairs link, yes I have finally told her the truth about everything that occured during my A, but the OM and OW are now adding in a bunch of their own BS to keep her mad.
