You know what else is good for the soul? Knowing someone like you! Each time you send me a little note, it just brings spring flowers and sunshine to my day.
I feel a very strong connection with you, with the similarities with how we see and deal with things. pssssssssst... you're wonderful!
Back at ya, Gypsy - times a bazillion!
Off to my art class. I'll be back with more later.
xoxoxoxooxo
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I'm trying to figure out how to create happiness today. Yesterday was fine, but not super happy. I attended my art class and enjoyed that part of the day. My H usually shoots archery on Saturday with OW. I was really hoping he would shoot yesterday. It was kind of a "test" for me because I knew OW wouldn't be shooting since she had other plans, but if he still went without her being there it would show me that he enjoys the shooting and not just her company. Anyway, he stayed home. My test failed and it hurts. I really don't know what I want right now. I'm dedicated to doing what I can to save my marriage because that's what I promised to do, but it's not very fun. We've been suffering in silence since December and my life is slipping away... my love for H is dwindling with each passing day. On the bright side, my love for me is expanding and I think I'm super AMAZING.
I think I'll take my best friend (my dog) down to the river today for a hike. That will certainly create some happiness.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Thanks for your post on my thread! Gosh, you're so flattering - too bad you're not a single guy in my city, lolol!
Originally Posted By: girlfromipanema
It was kind of a "test" for me because I knew OW wouldn't be shooting since she had other plans, but if he still went without her being there it would show me that he enjoys the shooting and not just her company. Anyway, he stayed home. My test failed and it hurts.
((((Girl))) I know how that feels. One thing that I try to keep in mind is that we can't ever know what is really going on in someone else's mind. Maybe he doesn't really like it, but she pressures him to go, and he doesn't want to let her down. It doesn't mean he is in love with her. Also, it is so tempting to give your H little "tests" of your own devising, but if he doesn't know he's being tested, your results may be skewed. Same if he knows, but at least then, he has a chance! There are just too many variables in this case for you to know why he didn't go.
Originally Posted By: girlfromipanema
I really don't know what I want right now. I'm dedicated to doing what I can to save my marriage because that's what I promised to do, but it's not very fun. We've been suffering in silence since December and my life is slipping away... my love for H is dwindling with each passing day.
No, it's not fun. And I'm not surprised you're not feeling the love. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you that you're not filled with good feelings towards your H, and having a great time being the only one trying to save your M!
I'm a believer in the concept that love is a verb. Love arises out of action - if you don't nurture your love, it will dwindle. With the way things are in your M, it is no wonder you don't feel it - but that doesn't mean it can't come back. Right now, you probably have a need to protect yourself, and that is okay. If you do loving actions for H, your feelings will probably start to come back. Of course, if they aren't reciprocated, your love can only develop so far. But what I'm saying is (in case all my blah blah isn't clear!), it's okay to not "feel" it right now; it doesn't mean it's gone forever.
I hope you had fun with your dog! And I am glad that you think you're great! That's what I'm working on for me.
Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
I think I'm pretty much done. Things are just too difficult and I'm no good at DBing. We don't have children, so what's the big deal. Vows Shmows.
I just don't think it's worth it anymore. I can't continue to try with no reciprocation. I think I need to make an appointment with a L. I'm not going to fight for anything - the house is a wash. The market has lost so much value here so no need to compute a buy-out. Should be pretty clean. Maybe even a mediator can help us. This is all foreign to me...
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
